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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Max, The King, The Melkman, And Fausto

What a work of art, this afternoon's effort by Max Scherzer. You could frame it and hang it in the Louvre. Not in the same room with the Mona Lisa, but in there somewhere. 

He walked Morneau and Doumit to lead off the second, but then fanned the side. He got seven more Twins while allowing only four hits and -- we always like to point this out, because it's important -- zero walks.

The ten Ks give Scherzer 178 for the season, best in baseball, three more than R.A. Dickey and four more than Felix Hernandez and Justin Verlander by day's end. 

Miguel Cabrera entered the Tiger record book with his first inning homer, his 30th, making him the first Tiger to have 30 in five straight years. (Final: 5-1 Tigers.) 

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King Felix pitched a perfect game today, in the obscurity of Wednesday afternoon out west, at Safeco Field, that I got home in time to hear the last half inning of. He whiffed twelve D-Rays and didn't allow as much as a hot line drive. Another perfect game ... that's nice, third this season, second at Safeco, and second against the otherwise very good D-Rays in the last three years (Mark Buehrle perfected them in July 2009). 

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One less Cabrera in the major leagues for the rest of the season.  While Scherzer and The King were authoring their masterpieces, news broke that Melky Cabrera had tested positive for testosterone supplements and had been suspended for 50 games. That's five games into post-season, but the Giants won't make it now. No more Melkman. Hahaha Giants! Schadenfreude! 

Cabrera had a breakout season last year with the Royals (now we know why), was mysteriously traded to the Giants (now we know why) and was having an out of nowhere season this year (.346 average, All-Star Game MVP, now we know why, cheating done the Melky way.) 

But the MLB story didn't mention supplements. All it said was that he had "tested positive for testosterone." Something every man's body produces. So does that mean, I wondered, that they're all guilty? Season over, let's all go home? 

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You can go for two weeks and not see anything interesting, and that it all happpens on the same day. The Pitcher Formerly Known As Fausto Carmona started his first game in two years, for the Indians at Anaheim tonight.  Renamed Roberto Hernandez, he got through the first but gave up three dinkers in the second. The Tribe defense then betrayed him, committing three errors and what should have been a fourth. Only five runs scored, but the Indians absorbed yet another ugly loss, 8-0).

Maggie asked me why he didn't change his name to a symbol, like Prince did. Maybe a punctuation mark?  I told her that punctuation marks aren't allowed in box scores, and that I thought I smelled food burning downstairs. What ever happened to the sweet, uncomplicated girl I used to know?





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