If You Need To Watch Baseball Real Bad ...

Those who waited through tonight's 90 minute rain delay stand as proof that Tigers fans are bigger fools than anyone could ever imagine. 

Here, in fact, is a picture of some Tigers fans in line at the day-of-game ticket window: 

No, Lyle "Mouton" isn't among them. (Look at those sweet little faces. Think about them next time you order veal scallopini.)

Not visible are the ominous blue-black southwestern sky and the gentle pitty-pat drops of rain that indicate something much worse is on the way. 

But the sheeple ... er, fans, trooped to their seats and waited for the game to start. Wandered around, rode the carousel. visited the ATMs, and spent money in the food court of this ball park occupied by a team whose owner makes pizza, that has almost no covered seating.

They saw baseball played as the Marx Brothers would play it. 

In the third, Ramon Santiago kicked an easy two-out grounder. Five unearned runs scored, and a 3-1 lead became a 6-3 deficit. He booted a second ball in the fifth, but no damaged was done. 

Purnal Boesch clanged a Josh Willingham liner that was scored a double, taking the shine off a rare good night at the plate (3 for 4, a homer, three RBIs).

A two-run homer by Austin Jackson in the same inning evened the score at six. But that isn't fair. It's not fair to take the gift back once it's been wrapped and handed over. 

The usually reliable Brayan Villareal allowed two doubles in the seventh. After an intentional walk, a sac fly gave the Twins a 7-6 lead. That was okay, though, the top of the order was due next inning, and anything can happen. And it did; with QB on first, Trevor Plouffe (rhymes with "pooffe") grabbed a Cabrera liner and turned it into a double play. Their guy catches the ball ... and, after that, you pretty much knew it was over. No need to watch the last two innings, unless you loved The Bad News Bears and want to see more.

But this night of disaster at Tiger Park at Comerica Yards does have a feel-good angle. 

Sixty former illegal aliens who violated US immigration laws by coming here, and staying here, without proper documentation were sworn in as naturalized citizens on this Fourth of July eve. They got rained on, and got to see some very bad baseball played the Tiger way. An allegorical preview of life in their new home, where they've been living for years anyway. Hello .. this is Amercia.