49ers 15, Lions 3

“When It Rains, It Pours,” reads the box of salt in the kitchen cupboard. And indeed it does. In the third inning, with the score 5-0 Giants, it poured. It rained cats and dogs. Poodles formed in the outfield.

With Max Scherzer getting whacked, again, prayers went out to the baseball godz, that good fortune might smile on our team again, that it would rain long and hard enough to wash this disaster off the schedule even if that meant a doubleheader tomorrow. Meanwhile, I tuned away to check the other games.

When I returned, the Pretenders’ game was in the fourth inning, the score was 10-0, and Don Kelly was catching. His name thus goes on the list of players who have pitched and caught in the major leagues, most of them before 1900.

While I was down the dial, Brayan Villareal replaced Scherzer, finished walking his last hitter, and served up a grand slam to Miguel Tejada. And I missed it … I’ll have to go into the Gameday radio archive and hear that magic moment as called by both sets of announcers.

Yet another slam. And the hits just kept on coming. For them. When it rains, it pours. Runs multiplied like ants in the pantry. 

For that, and for last night’s bases-loaded walk, Anthony says, since Villareal has been in and out of the cornfield so many times, this time he doesn't come back. 

I wondered if maybe Skipper Leyland would let Kelly pitch the ninth and catch Inge, or maybe Ryan Throwingarm whose error in the first made that inning’s three unearned runs possible. A possible turning point in the game at that point, it mattered not at the end.

When the score became 15-0, I began daydreaming about what Kate and William were up to. Maggie is the royal watcher among us, and she ventured a guess that they were at some fancy party with tablecloths and silverware, where all the guests have to wear shoes. But not neckties, since after all, it’s California. I saw them tuned in to the end of this game, DX from San Francisco on 680 KNBR, and savoring the lyrical, poetic Jon Miller, Official Voice of Major League Baseball.

Late in the fourth quarter, defensive end Brennan Boesch sacked Niners quarterback Barry Zito in the end zone for a safety, and Austin Jackson kicked a single. This being the Canada Day weekend, the game was played under CFL rules.

At the damp, bitter end – 12:25 AM Detroit time – a knot of fans could be heard chanting LET’S GO … TI-GERS … Fans of the sort who voted for Oh Bama and are still eagerly awaiting the change he promised. It was fireworks night, and for that reason they can be forgiven. But there was a surprise waiting for them. Instead of the rockets’ red glare, they got Ken Anger’s famous underground film.