This season started downstairs.
I got zero WiFi in the second floor baseball bunker this morning. The router across the street did, however, put a big signal into the living room. So there I went with my laptop, and antenna on a long cable with its tinfoil-covered cardboard reflector, to listen to the first spring training broadcasts.
A wacky start to what promises to be an equally wacky season.
The acquisitions of set-up man Joaquin Benoit, and catcher-first baseman-DH Victor Martinez, turn Patch And Pray Version 2.011 into Win It All Now Titanium Edition, despite the permanent presence in left field of Ryan Raburn's cast iron glove.
But the big man who makes it all happen, Miguel Cabrera, was nailed for drunk driving two days before the first full-squad workout.
He already cost his team one division title -- that it admittedly didn't deserve -- in 2009 while playing under the influence of yeast excrement.
Now, each time he takes an oh-fer or strikes out when a hit is needed to save the game, fans -- and a cynical lot they are in the Motor City -- will not help but wonder if he was playing drunk.
Jim Leyland's contract expires this year. In his five seasons as manager, he's presided over two September meltdowns. A third, or a bad season played with a sub-par, distracted Cabrera, would seem to doom him.
They beat the Blue Jays this afternoon, but one spring training win does not a season make.
We need a good year from Brad Penny at the back of the rotation, comeback stats from Carlos Guillen at second, Danny Worth proving last year wasn't an illusion, and Magglio Ordonez providing offensive punch at age 37. And enough tinfoil and cardboard to make it through six months of Gameday Audio.
I still have enough of both to make a nice hat.
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